Just as some women eye younger women as competition, some men can’t help wonder if their girlfriends or wives dream of being with an experienced, older man – the Sean Connerys, George Clooneys, and Cary Grants of the world. Some men whose girlfriends or wives have dated older men in the past wonder what those older men had that they might not. Well, wonder no more. Here’s what you can learn about sex and love from older men and the women who have loved them.
1. Get up out of bed. Talk to a woman who’s spent any significant time with an older man and she’ll likely tell you that her ex got out of bed for her. As in, he got out of bed at midnight, after they had sex, to get her a drink of water. Or he went downstairs to investigate a strange sound or to turn off the kitchen light or to adjust the A/C. Should this be the man’s job? Of course not. But many women adore their partner for letting them stay comfortable in their warm and cozy bed while they get up out of bed to do one of these things. And every now and then, a woman may use those extra few minutes to change into something sexy, light some candles or otherwise get ready for sex.
2. Massage her back and/or feet. Once an older man begins to realize that his erection isn’t as reliable as it might have been in his younger days, he may realize that sex is about more than his penis. It’s about touching, waiting, seducing, wondering where the fingers or the mind will travel next. And because sex is often most pleasurable and orgasms are most easy to come by when a woman is relaxed, starting with a massage or a foot rub isn’t a bad way to begin.
3. Take your time.What’s the rush? Linger in bed. Kiss longer. Touch her all over. You have all the time in the world rather than a wham, bam, thank you ma’am. You know how Don Draper and Hank Moody linger, even when they shouldn’t? Learn from these older men.
4. Give and give some more. Older men are often pleasers. Sure, you might think it’s because they’re thrilled to be with a younger woman. However, even older men who date or are married to women their own age tend to be pleasers. After all, they’re experienced enough to know that there are many ways to give a woman an orgasm and that many women are often more satisfied with sex when they have had an orgasm, or when their partner has taken the time to find what makes sex feel good for them. Whether it’s oral sex, finger play, a vibrator or a favorite position, find out what she craves and then give it to her. Many women are pleasers, too, and she’ll likely want to respond in kind to your generosity.
5. Appreciate her. If there’s one thing that age and experience give a man, it’s a sense of appreciation – especially if he has loved and lost. Having a “one who got away” reminds a man that he should have come home on time more often, he should have danced with her on the kitchen floor even when there was no music playing, or he should have said yes when she asked him to meet her for a mid-day lunch. Women, with age and experience, know this, too. Rather than wait to mess up, learn this lesson early. If you have a chance to express love or connection, take it.
6. Brush your teeth before bed. Young guys get caught rebelling against years of living under their mother’s roof. After all, no one wants to be told time and again to brush their teeth before bed. Or else they spend time cultivating that “just woke up” look (and smell). But seriously, guys. You’ll probably have a better chance of before-bed sex if you don’t smell repulsive. Older men know this and they brush.
7. Embrace the senses. Bodies smell. Sex smells. Sex also has its own tastes and sounds and there’s all this sweatiness that goes on in between bodies. And have I mentioned stray hairs? Don’t worry; you have all this, too. Older men have gotten over this fact and have embraced sex for all it’s worth and the way it fills each of one’s senses.
So there you have it! Seven secrets of good sex culled from age and experience – only you get them a few years early. Make good use of them.