Find a time when you’re home alone and won’t be interrupted. Turn off the television and hide your phone; do whatever you normally do to help you relax. Maybe a leisurely bath or shower might help to get you more in the mood, or you could light a few candles and put on some soothing music. When you’re ready, lie down and make yourself comfortable; take a moment to center yourself and focus on your own breathing.
Using the lightest pressure, touch your face with your fingertips. Stroke your cheeks, draw your fingers across your forehead, rub your temples and massage your scalp. Make sure you take your time; pay attention to your breathing, to the feel of your skin and try to make your entire body go limp every time you exhale.
Using a firmer touch, move your hands up and down your arms, across your shoulders and behind your neck. Do you notice any muscle tension? Work on these areas for a little longer. Make sure you keep things varied by rubbing, stroking and kneading your muscles.
Now you’re feeling more relaxed, move your hands towards your breasts. Cup them, stroke them and play with them. Apply featherlight pressure to your nipples, tracing the outline, before gently pinching and pulling on them.
Work your way down
Continue working downwards, massaging your abdomen, hips and thighs. Make sure you take things slowly and keep your breathing slow and even.
and back up again
When you’re ready, move back up your body to the pelvis. Place both hands over your vulva and apply the gentlest pressure, moving your hands in small, slow circles. Keep the pressure light until you feel ready to take things further.
Take things further
Position your hand so that you can touch your clitoris and rub it gently between your thumb and finger. Then try stroking the entire length of your clitoris with slow up and down movements; change the speed and pressure to work out what feels good for you.
Use both hands
While one hand takes care of the above, use the other to explore deeper inside yourself. Try reaching one finger two inches inside your vagina and stroke along the front wall… It may take a few moments for this to have any effect, so experiment with speed and pressure until you feel something.
Let your body talk
While you’re exploring yourself, don’t feel bound to lying still. Try pressing your thighs tightly together, to amp up the pressure, or rocking your hips back and forth as you stroke. Tense your muscles, quicken the pace of your breathing and try to let go.
Going it alone
The rest is up to you! These steps aren’t a cookbook recipe for arousal; experiment with different pressures and motions, abandon yourself to your sensations, follow your instincts and go with what feels good. Have fun!