Porn vs. Real Sex: Watch The Video

This may come as a shocker, but porn is different from real sex.

Thanks to the Internet, porn is everywhere, and that sets many of us up for someunrealistic expectations in the horizontal hustle.

While real sex can be a passion-filled journey sending sky rockets in flight, some afternoons don’t end in delight, just some extremely awkward moments.

New York film production company Kornhaber Brown compares porn stars and regular Joes, side by side. Of course, they need a lot of bananas, sliced papaya and other food as stand-ins for those body parts that make porn stars famous.

The video quotes some startling — and disturbing — facts. One that jumps out: “In real life 75 percent of men ejaculate within 3 minutes.”

Perhaps that’s why, “71 percent of all women can’t orgasm through penetration.”

Indeed, porn sometimes seems to make real sex seem like really lame sex.

Huffpost contacted Kornhaber Brown for the sources of that info. A spokeswoman was less than forthcoming.

“While the stats are based on credible sources, such as Jon Millward’s Deep Insidestudy, we’d rather stay out of a discussion about scientific, sexual health or social impact issues.” Gillian Weeks, Head of Sales and Development said in an email.

“We just made this for fun.”

Then again, how much fun can you have in three minutes?

The Treasure Club
520 Swannanoa River Road
Asheville, NC 28805
More About The Treasure Club Gentlemen’s Club In Asheville, NC

Welcome to Asheville’s Treasure Club

Welcome to the Treasure Club – Asheville’s only true Gentlemans Club
and upscale sports lounge. We feature over 30 beautiful entertainers,
six big screen TV’s, pool tables, video gaming, and show all Pay Per
View sporting events.

We also have a climate controlled smoking deck built specifically so
you don’t miss a minute of the action. Come visit us and see the most
beautiful girls in western North Carolina.

520 Swannanoa River Road, Asheville, NC 28805
Phone: 828-298-1400
Email: asheville@thetreasureclub.com

Hours

Monday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Tuesday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Wednesday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Thursday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Friday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Saturday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Sunday: Closed

Drink Specials

Monday: Domestics $2.75
Tuesday: Cape Cods $4.75, Budweiser $2.75
Wednesday: Royal Flush $5.00, Miller Lite $2.75
Thursday: Fuzzy Navels $4.75, Draft $2.00
Friday: Rum/Coke $5.00, Banana Bombers $4.00
Saturday: Vodka Tonics $5.25
All specials subject to availability.

Dances

The Treasure Club offers nightly drink specials. We offer a variety of
dance options depending on your mood. Our entertainers give table
dances,private VIP dances and champagne rooms are available.

VIP / Private Parties

The Treasure Club is available for your next private party or bachelor
party. We have special limo service available for parties of five or
more. Simply contact us to begin planning your Treasure Club VIP
experience. Come see all we have to offer.

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Your Guide To Swinging

Swinging, or “the lifestyle,” is defined as social sex between consenting adults — usually heterosexual couples who swap with others. But before you pack up your condoms and head to the nearest swingers’ club, there are a few things you need to know first.

To start, although most swingers’ clubs allow women in without a partner, that is not typically the case for men. And if there is a “single men allowed” night, you can bet you’re ass that you’ll be surrounded by a hell of a lot more men than women. So if you’re in a relationship with an “up for anything” kind of girl, read on. If not, then better luck next time, dude.

how does swinging work?

Nowadays, there are a bunch of nightclubs in which couples who enjoy the lifestyle head to on the week-ends.

Although this location provides a great “getting to know you” environment, it is not, where the swingers swing. There are different premises for the sex (someone’s home, a camping ground, etc.).

Although certain elite clubs specify that you have to be invited by someone from the club to get in, most swingers’ associations don’t discriminate, and will welcome you with open legs, so don’t fret.

how can you get in?

To begin, I strongly recommend that you do this with a woman with whom you’re seriously involved. When guys show up with “a ticket” (a woman, whether it be an escort, a buddy, or a nympho, who does you the favor of getting you in the door), the community doesn’t like that very much.

As well, make sure that your woman is comfortable with the idea. Of course, the biggest selling point is the fact that neither of you has to do anything with anyone else. A few more reasons why she might like the idea of swinging include:

  • You can recreate that feeling you had when you first met, where both of you are excited and anxious.
  • You will appreciate her more when you notice that other men and women desire her as much as you do.
  • If she’s worried about the way her body looks, assure her that the swinging community tends to overlook body type, size and age.
  • She can dress as sexy as she wants.
  • Both of you can socialize and talk about sex openly with others.

issues to work out

But before the two of you head out, there are issues that you should definitely discuss beforehand. To start, make sure that you and she only say “yes” to certain activities when you mean it.

Some swingers don’t like to watch their partner having sex with other people (called “closed” swinging), while others prefer it (“open” swinging), and yet others may opt for messing around with other swingers but only having sex with their partners (“soft” swinging).

Also keep in mind that you are not obligated to swing (although I’m guessing that you probably want to); about 10% of people don’t swing at all and are only there to hang out (literally) and socialize.

showing up

Before you head out, it’s always a good idea to make reservations. Usually, the host of the party will fill you in on the etiquette and party rules, but there are still a few things you should know beforehand.

Show up together
To start, make sure you arrive with your woman, rather than have her meet you inside on her own time.

Dress with the style
As for the style of dress, it’s very casual and women usually dress up very sexy at the off-premises events (such as dance clubs). On premises, perhaps bringing along a robe, as well as your “easy to remove” clothing would be a good idea. That way, rather than get dressed and undressed over and over again, you can walk around in your robe.

Also, sometimes these events have theme parties, like cowboy night or Hawaiian night, if so, find out what the theme is and follow the trend.

Clean yourself up
I strongly recommend that you shave, shower, brush your teeth, clean your nails, and make sure you’re fresh all around. You never know what to expect, maybe your girl will want to play — with you and others.

we’re in, now what?

So you went to the club and were invited to the off-premises party. Good job, or at least, it might be. Now, here’s what you have to do.

Your best bet would be to make friends. Find another couple you’re comfortable with and have them show you around the next few times you attend.

As well, once you’re in the down and dirty scene, there are some more rules you need to abide by:

Don’t offend people
If a couple approaches you and your woman, don’t look at them in disgust and yell out “No way!” This is a friendly environment, and a simple, “Thanks, but we’re not interested” will do.

Don’t harass other couples
If you and your woman decide to hook up with another couple, and the couple declines your offer, don’t ask, “Why not?” Not only is it considered rude and juvenile, but it also puts the other couple in an awkward position and, worse, they may actually tell you why not.

Form friendships
If you begin engaging in a conversation with another couple who’s interested, don’t focus simply on the partner you plan to bang; your objective is to become friends with the couple , not just the babe.

Have quiet arguments
If you and your woman end up in an argument (you never know what the first time will garner), have your discussion in private, away from the party.

Don’t stare
Don’t open closed doors to bedrooms and the like, and don’t ogle people. It’s considered rude for obvious reasons.

Don’t get drunk
Most parties are BYOB, so I think it’s a good idea not to bring too much liquor with you. While a couple of drinks may help you and your woman loosen up, getting drunk is not a good idea. You will act like a fool, and may end up in situations you’ll regret later.

Use protection
Although some places make it mandatory, others don’t. I recommend that you wear condoms and put them on right. This is not to assume that swingers have STDs, but rather that you’re better off being safe. And use a new condom with each new partner. As well, if you like, you can use a barrier for oral sex.

Stay clean
If you’ve used your hands or fingers on a woman’s anus or vagina, don’t touch anyone else (even yourself) until you’ve washed your hands with an anti-bacterial soap (usually provided by the host).

no man on man

Believe it or not, there is rarely, if ever, man on man sex going on at swingers’ events. Usually, it’s women on women, easily, but there’s no men getting it on with each other. It’s not because the community is homophobic; just the opposite, in fact — it’s simply not part of the culture.

But back to the women I hate to break it to you, but whereas you’re usually the one who’s dying to go to one of these swinger shindigs, it’s usually your girl who’ll get all the attention, not you. But if she’s cool, she’ll hook you up, or at least share.

where to go

And if you’re still keen on the idea and want to find a club near you, check out http://www.nasca.com. And if you’d rather swing whilst on vacation instead, then check out http://www.lifestyles.org.

And until next time, forget the chandelier, this is where you should be swinging.

Ashley Sweete

Spokes-Model

The Treasure Club
520 Swannanoa River Road
Asheville, NC 28805
Phone: 828-298-1400

First Time I Went To An Orgy

When friend had mentioned she’d been to sex parties, I knew I wanted to go, too. Could she bring me along next time, if it wouldn’t be too weird? As it turns out, she would soon be hosting one at her very own house. Sure enough, an invitation came in my email a few days later, sternly worded emphasis on consent.

In preparation, I treated the sex party as if was a date — a group date, of sorts, where I was sure to get laid. So I did what I’d do before a normal date: I shaved the winter fur off my legs, blowdried my mane, and did my eye makeup real fancy. I squeezed into a sequin Forever 21 dress that I first/last wore at a club on my 24th birthday party, then unrolled it off like sausage casing when I realized I couldn’t breathe. I tried on my sweetest LBD and chucked that aside, too, for not being “sexy” enough. I’m supposed to look fuckable at an orgy, right? I’m a slightly overweight feminist WASP with eczema on my ankles. The Victoria’s Secret definition of fuckable isn’t really my look. I settled on jeans, boots, and a gorgeous silk blouse over some pretty lingerie.

Worrying so much about how I looked was a colossal waste of time.

The orgy hostess could not have been more sex-positive and pro-consent about the night’s activities — so much so, in fact, that the ethos of “no pressure” meant I didn’t know what to expect. Sex-positivity and respect are the best possible qualities of any sexual partner, of course. But I wasn’t sure what the social codes were, like being a freshman plunged into a class of seniors. Cue a Google search prior to leaving the house for “do orgies provide condoms …” (It turns out, they do — in a big bowl in the living room.)

Like the dork that I am, I was the first person to arrive. And there was no way would I show up at an orgy emptyhanded! My mama raised me right: I came with two kinds of crackers and three kinds of cheeses. After greeting the host and hostess, I sat at the kitchen table, chatting with each new guest, but also wondering if all I would do was eat snacks. There was a lot to think about, admittedly: every person who comes through the door is a potential sex partner.

Everybody kept their clothes on for a lot longer than I would have expected — when, all of a sudden, a man exited the bathroom wearing only his underwear. That seemed to be the cue to begin, that people were going to start getting naked.  I felt surprisingly uncomfortable about stripping down to my own lingerie while everyone else was clothed; it seemed exhibitionistic, which at the point in the party, seemed like a bad thing. So instead, I chatted like I was at a normal cocktail party.

How I would initiate sexual activity was another area of confusion. The same as with wondering if/when I would take my clothes off, there wasn’t a buzzer that sounded when group sex would commence. The hostess had graciously asked me how I wanted to be approached about sexual play: ask or be asked? I’m a pretty empowered woman, so I assumed that I’d just size up a hot dude, strut over to him and ask him to doggy-style. Why not?

But my friend seemed to be suggesting that someone had their eye on me and would I prefer him to proposition me?  Flattered, and without thinking, I told her, yes, he could come proposition me. That turned out to be the wrong decision, actually, because I wasn’t digging the guy in question. I had to figure out the polite, kind but firm way to convey to a complete stranger, “I don’t want to play with you.” Another thing I hadn’t anticipated: what if I don’t want to have sex with some of these people?

Leaving that fellow behind the kitchen, where more people had started taking off their clothes to reveal lingerie or underwear, I walked out into the living room. A man and a woman were fucking on the couch on the far side of the living room; he was on top with her breast in his mouth, pounding away. Oh! I thought. The orgy has started!  Suddenly a little bashful, I turned a corner into the bedroom and saw four people, three women and a man, in the hostess’ bed. It felt much more cozy and intimate in there. That’s when I learned something about myself: I like to watch.

Watching other people have sex in person is completely different than watching porn. That might have been my favorite part of the entire orgy — whenever I got to watch other people fuck. The 360-degree angle is hugely arousing. And as someone who has never been satisfied by anything other than homemade porn online, watching real people experience real pleasure is totally hot. At first I wasn’t sure if it was “okay” to watch (I mean, are we supposed to avert our eyes lest we seem creepy?), but I quickly realized that the apartment is so small that everyone knows that “privacy,” such as we know it, doesn’t exist. In fact, some people seemed to be putting on a show!

The hostess saw me watching and climbed out of bed, where she had been playing with one of the three people. “What do you want to do?” she asked me. “Actually, I’d like to make out with you,” I told her. And that’s when I finally took my clothes off, climbed into her bed, and hooked up with a woman for the very first time. (And then, um, another woman.)

Women’s bodies are so different than men’s bodies. I never knew that before. From the softness of their skin to the roundness of their breasts and ass, I felt (but, I hope, didn’t act) a bit like a gawky, fumbling adolescent.  Being so up close, hands-on and exploratory female nudity — feeling both their chubby places and their bony spots — satiated a desire I’d had for a long, long time. I felt more whoa about another person’s body than I’d felt with any man in a long while.

I also learned that my sexual energy alters with the same sex.  That was a surprise, as the more dominant men behave in bed, the more submissive I become. But hooking up with women, I carried the more aggressive energy. I was the one who pulled hair and wanted to grab and squeeze. As much as I love being a submissive with male partners, it was exciting to learn that I’m switch-y with women.

Weird, then, that the next activity I found myself engaging in was paddling a guy’s ass. Yup, I did that. The second guy to proposition me throughout the night had brought a paddle with him and after he gave me a public spanking on the hostess’ bed, he asked if I could do the same for him.  I’m not sexually turned on by spanking men at all, but I suppose I obliged out of politeness. And come to find out, I’m good at it! I’ve gotten enough spankings over the past decade-plus to know how to give a good one. He seemed satisfied. Still, it was out of my sexual character — not in a bad way, mind you, just in a different way that my usual behaviors.

My paddling friend and I spent the rest of the night making out in bed together alongside two or three other folks. We weren’t alone: the hostess got down on the floor with someone and the guy who was first to walk around in his undies fucked someone up against the wall and on the dresser. That’s when I learned something else new about my sexual self: as much as I love to watch, listening is different. Hearing the man dirty talk with his female partner about how she was a “bad girl” as he fucked her against the wall gave me the giggles. (Perhaps it was nervous energy because it was so hot that I was wishing I was the bad girl getting fucked?) The exhibitionism was no longer something to be embarrassed about — it was the best part!

I stayed in bed almost until I left. Why did I spent the rest of the night with one partner? Well, my paddling friend was absolutely rapturous about my ass. I have an otherwise slender frame with large, pear-shaped hips/ass and weight gain tends to show just on my stomach. Even though I love my curves on my boobs and butt, I’m less enthused about my belly.  But he didn’t see that: he just saw curves, curves, curves everywhere and made me feel like I have an amazing body.  He couldn’t keep his hands off my ass and hips — and I lapped up the attention. In my normal  day-to-day life, I have mean Internet commenters telling me a couple times a week that I’m fat or unattractive. Those are the poison darts stuck inside my brain. I don’t walk around thinking,I have a great ass. I walk around thinking, Who’ll be able to see past by belly?

But, in fact, going to an orgy turned out to be the most healthy decision I’ve ever made for my body image. It wasn’t just my paddling friend’s praise or the other men who propositioned and flirted with me throughout the night. It was the first time I really saw naked women before: Every woman in the room had a completelydifferent body and everyone appreciated, if not outright complimented, everyone else’s physical beauty. It’s rare that we see women’s  nude or nearly nude bodies portrayed in ways that aren’t shoving it down our throat as “sexy.” I felt extremely desirable just the way I am, a feeling I haven’t felt since my early 20s when I felt naturally “pretty” a lot more than I do now, which is not often.  It’s no surprise that the physical beauty present was a much wider range that what we see in movies, TV, women’s magazines, or even porn. This was a truepanoply of women.  A few women had no hips or tits. Another girl was much larger. One woman had the longest hair I’ve ever seen in my life. There was tons of pubic hair.  No one seemed to care one whit about whether these bodies were ready for a Calvin Klein ad — bodies were people.

The negative side to all those bodies, though, was my germophobia. By the time I felt ready to leave, I was thinking less about what I wanted to do with whom and instead who everyone had already hooked up with.  I didn’t have much concern for STDs, because I didn’t engage in behavior that would have exposed me to any, yet I did start thinking about how quickly the common cold could fly around this party. The OCD, obsessive-hand-washing germophobe in me felt squicky about swapping so much spit with people who had already swapped spit with others. As a result, I didn’t actually have penetrative sex at the orgy because by the time I was done with my prior activities, everyone else had already hooked up with other people. My problem wasn’t “the ethics of group sex” so much as “how the common cold could spread around a group sex setting.” Alas, I managed to handle the fact I found a used condom on one of my boots with uncharacteristic calm.

Tucking myself into my own bed that night — alone, happily — I felt whoa, I can’t believe I did that about hooking up with the two women. What didn’t occur to me until the next morning and stayed with the strongly in the days since was how good I felt in my own skin. I had brunch with my friend Megan the next day and lunch with my friend Lilit the day after that and texted with my sister. All anybody wanted to ask was the nitty-gritty details of the orgy — how many people were there? was it gross?! was it hot?! — but I wanted to kvell about my newfound love for my own body.  Yes, it was a big deal that I explored my not-quite-straight sexuality. And yes, it’s also a big deal that I played with being the more aggressive/dominant partner with one woman and the man.

The night was less about the notches in my belt, though, or the new skills on my resume. It was about how the best thing about having sex with other people turned out to be myself.

Ashley Sweete

Spokes-Model

The Treasure Club
520 Swannanoa River Road
Asheville, NC 28805
Phone: 828-298-1400