Having Sex Affects Your Satisfaction, Study Finds

Your motivation for having sex really affects how satisfied you feel.

At least, that’s what a new study out of the University of Toronto found. In a paper published this month in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, a research team led by social psychologist Amy Muise investigated two motivations for having sex:

1. “Approach” goals like increasing intimacy and experiencing pleasure.
2. “Avoidance” goals like not disappointing a partner.

They found that these motivations determined how much satisfaction an individual derived from his or her sexual experience.

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In one experiment, researchers recruited 517 participants who had previously been in a sexual relationship and presented them with one of eight possible scenarios involving a couple. In some scenarios, one partner engaged in sex to “feel closer to their partner,” in others to “avoid disappointing their partner.” Participants were than asked to rate the partner’s relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction and level of sexual desire on a scale of 1-7. The researchers found that participants believed those who had sex to “feel closer to their partner” would have higher levels of relationshipand sexual satisfaction.

In a second experiment, researchers recruited 108 heterosexual couples from an unnamed Canadian university. Each participant completed a background survey and a 14-day “daily experience” study. According to the paper:

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On days when people engaged in sex for approach goals… they experienced greater relationship and sexual satisfaction, but on days when people engaged in sex for avoidance goals, they experienced lower relationship and sexual satisfaction.

The researchers conducted two further experiments, both of which confirmed the original findings.

So, what can we take away from this study? Having sex to please someone else is not a good idea — it detracts from your own satisfaction, and can affect how you feel about your relationship over time.

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Previous research has looked at why people have sex, but Muise’s study is one of the first to investigate how motivation translates into satisfaction. A study from 2007 identified 237 different reasons why people have sex, ranging from attraction and excitement to revenge and attention.

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Researchers have also looked at whether men and women have sex for difference reasons. Under the direction of Dr. Cindy Meston, the Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Texas at Austin identified a number of reasons why people pursue sex. They found little difference in motivation between genders. In April 2013, Meston told author Kayt Sukel: “The top three reasons for having sex were the same in both genders — they were having it for love, for commitment, and for physical gratification.”

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Here’s to having sex because you want to — not because you want to please someone else.

Best Regards,

Ashley Sweete

Spokes-Model

The Treasure Club
520 Swannanoa River Road
Asheville, NC 28805
Phone: 828-298-1400
More About The Treasure Club Gentlemen’s Club In Asheville, NC

Welcome to Asheville’s Treasure Club

Welcome to the Treasure Club – Asheville’s only true Gentlemans Club
and upscale sports lounge. We feature over 30 beautiful entertainers,
six big screen TV’s, pool tables, video gaming, and show all Pay Per
View sporting events.

We also have a climate controlled smoking deck built specifically so
you don’t miss a minute of the action. Come visit us and see the most
beautiful girls in western North Carolina.

520 Swannanoa River Road, Asheville, NC 28805
Phone: 828-298-1400
Email: asheville@thetreasureclub.com

Hours

Monday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Tuesday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Wednesday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Thursday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Friday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Saturday: 6:30 PM – UNTIL
Sunday: Closed

Drink Specials

Monday: Domestics $2.75
Tuesday: Cape Cods $4.75, Budweiser $2.75
Wednesday: Royal Flush $5.00, Miller Lite $2.75
Thursday: Fuzzy Navels $4.75, Draft $2.00
Friday: Rum/Coke $5.00, Banana Bombers $4.00
Saturday: Vodka Tonics $5.25
All specials subject to availability.

Dances

The Treasure Club offers nightly drink specials. We offer a variety of
dance options depending on your mood. Our entertainers give table
dances,private VIP dances and champagne rooms are available.

VIP / Private Parties

The Treasure Club is available for your next private party or bachelor
party. We have special limo service available for parties of five or
more. Simply contact us to begin planning your Treasure Club VIP
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Top 10: Female Sex Fantasies

No.10 Domination (her dominating you)

Women love a big strong man who can sweep them off their feet and carry them into the sunset — but you may be surprised to learn that one of the top female sex fantasies is to have that same big strong man begging for sexual release in the bedroom. The entire scenario revolves around you worshipping her body and begging for her attention. Why? She gets to be in control while enjoying total devotion from her man in the process. What more could she want?

No.9 Domination (you dominating her)

The advent of the metrosexual is most commonly blamed for this top 10 female sex fantasy. It seems that modern, independent women actually prefer real men who aren’t afraid to embrace their testosterone. This woman fantasizes about you pinning her down and thrusting her thighs apart with your knee. She wants to feel your fingers snake through her hair and pull her head back; she wants to feel your teeth on her shoulder; she wants to be owned — if only while in the bedroom (after which, she’ll want a clear return to equality). This win-win female sex fantasy scenario allows her to fully indulge her femininity, while still espousing the merits of feminism.

No.8 Teacher/student

You’ll be thrilled to know that the Britney Spears fantasy isn’t just for men: Women love the idea of dressing up like a schoolgirl and parading about for your viewing pleasure. Many would even like to take it a step further, playing the naughty tart who won’t stop teasing you until you pull her over your knee and give her the spanking she craves. That’s right: Loads and loads of grown women fantasize about getting a proper spanking from their man. A spanking from you is exciting for two reasons: Not only does this mild show of dominance hurt so good, but it also usually leads straight into hot, hot sex.

No.7 Sex with a stranger

Most women wouldn’t have the chutzpah to act out this top 10 female sex fantasy, but you’d better believe that most have thoroughly enjoyed thinking about it. No-strings-attached sex is something many women would love to experience, but most are dissuaded from it thanks to a lofty load of self-produced guilt. Nevertheless, her libido definitely gets fired up at the idea of a gorgeous male approaching her in a dark, smoky bar and taking her back to his room for a long, hot night of wild sex. This female sex fantasy appeals to her naughtiest side — the kinky one that rarely sees the light of day.

No.6 Threesome with another woman

These days, it’s fairly common for straight women to get down with other women now and again, making this top 10 female sex fantasy a not-so-unrealistic possibility. That being said, this threesome fantasy rarely involves you getting playtime with the second hottie, as most girlfriends do not want to see their man touch another woman. In this scenario, you’re meant to play voyeur until your woman is ready for something more hardcore. This allows her to experience the best of both worlds without having to worry about things like jealousy or sharing.

No.5 Threesome with two men

This top 10 female sex fantasy involves the woman being worshipped and adored by two gorgeous men. These men are typically heterosexual and, therefore, only interested in the woman — which translates into a whole lot of action for her. Her sex fantasy might be as innocent as being penetrated by one man while performing oral sex on the other or it might go further. This female sex fantasy is the ultimate taboo for many women, which makes it all the more fun to imagine.

No.4 Voyeurism

If you think women don’t enjoy watching other people get it on, you’re completely mistaken. Your woman likes to watch for the same reasons as you do: It’s erotic, exhilarating and slightly taboo. She may fantasize about peeping through the neighbor’s bedroom window, spying on a kinky couple in the park or even catching a full-on orgy from the sidelines. Believe it when we tell you she enjoys “watching” just as much as you do; it allows to her be naughty without getting her hands dirty, so to speak.

No.3 Force fantasies

As mentioned in our common female fantasies article, force fantasies are massively popular among women. Most psychologists believe this top 10 female sex fantasy allows a woman to have the wild, dirty sex she craves, without having to suffer the guilt that often follows. These female sex fantasies usually involve a gorgeous man carrying her off to his bedroom and quickly getting down to business. She’ll protest as he tears her clothing off and expertly arouses her body, but on the inside, she’ll love every minute of it.

No.2 Exhibitionism

She might cringe when you bring up the topic of making homemade porn flicks, but your woman has probably fantasized about doing precisely that at one time or another. Unfortunately, most women are far too body-conscious to experiment with such things, making this a top 10 female sex fantasy, as opposed to a reality. Believe it or not, some women even take this desire to the next level, fantasizing about others watching as you shag her silly in a public place.

No.1 Private dancer

Most women wouldn’t have the nerve to strip in a public setting, but this top 10 female sex fantasy definitely involves taking it all off. She loves the idea of tantalizing you with a striptease, and she’d love to give you a private lap dance. Why? Your enjoyment tells her you find her attractive, and your erection tells her she has control — a potent combination that women simply can’t get enough of.

The Treasure Club

520 Swannanoa River Road
Asheville, NC 28805
Phone: 828-298-1400

How To Turn Her On Tonight

If you want to engage in mind-numbing sex, you’ll need to arouse your girl first. Now, while some women want their man to slam them up against a wall and rip off their underwear, others would prefer light kisses along their neck while their man slowly inches his hand up her thigh. It’s up to you to figure out what your girl wants.

That said, today’s tip involves doing what you can to make your woman mad with desire for you. Here, now, are six ways to make her crazy.

1- Look sharp

“‘Coz every girl crazy ’bout a sharp-dressed man,” as the ZZ Top song goes. And if you’re dressed like a star, chances are that your woman will want to undress you. Now, you don’t have to put on a three-piece suit every day, but looking well put together and carrying yourself with confidence will arouse her vision, which may serve to arouse the rest of her.

Dress well, maintain your hygiene and stay fit, and you’ll be getting laid well into your golden years. On the flip side, this may encourage her to look as hot as possible as well. And coming home together will take on a whole new meaning.

2- Talk dirty

Talking dirty doesn’t have to involve anything derogatory by any means. All you have to do is walk up to your girl, move her hair to the side, bring your lips close enough to brush up against her ear, and whisper something like, “Spread your legs for me. I want to use my fingers to soak you.”

There are no limits; you just have to know what would excite her. Some women like hearing forceful words, others prefer more romantic lyrics. It’s up to you to discover what her ears have a penchant for.

3- Lick her thighs/back

I’ve said it at least a hundred times; when you seduce a woman by touching parts of her body that usually go unnoticed or ignored, you will arouse her a million times more than if you simply head to her sexualized parts.

That said, spreading her legs open and using your tongue to inch your way up her thighs is a great move… so long as you don’t touch her vagina. That way, she’ll ache, if not beg, you to touch it.

Or, you can opt to lick up her back. Light kisses and the occasional flick of the tongue will drive her crazy, no doubt. Ah, arousal at its best.

4- Use erotic movies

Men are visual, we all know that, but don’t think for a second that women aren’t. The difference comes down to what we want to look at. The next time you’re about to head into the shower, tell your woman you want to show her something and put on an erotic DVD.

Let her watch it while you’re in the washroom and by the time you get out, chances are she’ll be waiting for you with open legs, with her hands between them.

5- Call her up

If your mission is to arouse her before you even see her, call her up during the day and fill her in on what you’ve been thinking about, what you dreamt about or what you plan on doing to her that night. This way, she’ll be excited to see you and you’ve managed to begin the foreplay hours in advance.

6- Use blindfolds

If you ever want to drive a woman to depths of sexual excitement still unknown to man, blindfold her. When you steal away her sense of sight, her other senses become heightened. As well, because she can’t see, she may be bolder in her actions and sounds.

Watch as her nipples become harder than ever and her vagina soaks the sheets.

rise to arousal

There are many ways to arouse a woman, but there’s no doubt that arousing her mind will get her body going. Sometimes, something as simple as a deep, slow, wet kiss can make a woman go crazy on you. The thing is, there’s only one way to find out what makes her tick.

Until next time, wake up the beast lurking within your woman.

Ashley Sweete

Spokes-Model

The Treasure Club
520 Swannanoa River Road
Asheville, NC 28805
Phone: 828-298-1400