Women love a big strong man who can sweep them off their feet and carry them into the sunset — but you may be surprised to learn that one of the top female sex fantasies is to have that same big strong man begging for sexual release in the bedroom. The entire scenario revolves around you worshipping her body and begging for her attention. Why? She gets to be in control while enjoying total devotion from her man in the process. What more could she want?
The advent of the metrosexual is most commonly blamed for this top 10 female sex fantasy. It seems that modern, independent women actually prefer real men who aren’t afraid to embrace their testosterone. This woman fantasizes about you pinning her down and thrusting her thighs apart with your knee. She wants to feel your fingers snake through her hair and pull her head back; she wants to feel your teeth on her shoulder; she wants to be owned — if only while in the bedroom (after which, she’ll want a clear return to equality). This win-win female sex fantasy scenario allows her to fully indulge her femininity, while still espousing the merits of feminism.
You’ll be thrilled to know that the Britney Spears fantasy isn’t just for men: Women love the idea of dressing up like a schoolgirl and parading about for your viewing pleasure. Many would even like to take it a step further, playing the naughty tart who won’t stop teasing you until you pull her over your knee and give her the spanking she craves. That’s right: Loads and loads of grown women fantasize about getting a proper spanking from their man. A spanking from you is exciting for two reasons: Not only does this mild show of dominance hurt so good, but it also usually leads straight into hot, hot sex.
Most women wouldn’t have the chutzpah to act out this top 10 female sex fantasy, but you’d better believe that most have thoroughly enjoyed thinking about it. No-strings-attached sex is something many women would love to experience, but most are dissuaded from it thanks to a lofty load of self-produced guilt. Nevertheless, her libido definitely gets fired up at the idea of a gorgeous male approaching her in a dark, smoky bar and taking her back to his room for a long, hot night of wild sex. This female sex fantasy appeals to her naughtiest side — the kinky one that rarely sees the light of day.
These days, it’s fairly common for straight women to get down with other women now and again, making this top 10 female sex fantasy a not-so-unrealistic possibility. That being said, this threesome fantasy rarely involves you getting playtime with the second hottie, as most girlfriends do not want to see their man touch another woman. In this scenario, you’re meant to play voyeur until your woman is ready for something more hardcore. This allows her to experience the best of both worlds without having to worry about things like jealousy or sharing.
This top 10 female sex fantasy involves the woman being worshipped and adored by two gorgeous men. These men are typically heterosexual and, therefore, only interested in the woman — which translates into a whole lot of action for her. Her sex fantasy might be as innocent as being penetrated by one man while performing oral sex on the other or it might go further. This female sex fantasy is the ultimate taboo for many women, which makes it all the more fun to imagine.
If you think women don’t enjoy watching other people get it on, you’re completely mistaken. Your woman likes to watch for the same reasons as you do: It’s erotic, exhilarating and slightly taboo. She may fantasize about peeping through the neighbor’s bedroom window, spying on a kinky couple in the park or even catching a full-on orgy from the sidelines. Believe it when we tell you she enjoys “watching” just as much as you do; it allows to her be naughty without getting her hands dirty, so to speak.
As mentioned in our common female fantasies article, force fantasies are massively popular among women. Most psychologists believe this top 10 female sex fantasy allows a woman to have the wild, dirty sex she craves, without having to suffer the guilt that often follows. These female sex fantasies usually involve a gorgeous man carrying her off to his bedroom and quickly getting down to business. She’ll protest as he tears her clothing off and expertly arouses her body, but on the inside, she’ll love every minute of it.
She might cringe when you bring up the topic of making homemade porn flicks, but your woman has probably fantasized about doing precisely that at one time or another. Unfortunately, most women are far too body-conscious to experiment with such things, making this a top 10 female sex fantasy, as opposed to a reality. Believe it or not, some women even take this desire to the next level, fantasizing about others watching as you shag her silly in a public place.
Most women wouldn’t have the nerve to strip in a public setting, but this top 10 female sex fantasy definitely involves taking it all off. She loves the idea of tantalizing you with a striptease, and she’d love to give you a private lap dance. Why? Your enjoyment tells her you find her attractive, and your erection tells her she has control — a potent combination that women simply can’t get enough of.
The Treasure Club
There was a time when sex with more than one partner at a time was considered a nasty cespool of sticky, patchouli-scented nonsense. Or something girls did with their coke dealers when they were low on cash. Regardless, group sex was not typically thought of as something that intelligent, educated, well-adjusted women of the world willingly did because, ya know, they just wanted to. Obviously, this kind of blatant, judgmental retro-sexualism is tired and sad now. I’m of the belief that we should pack up all antiquated sexual hang-ups, put them in a box with any leftover Adam Sandler DVDs we haven’t destroyed yet, leave them in 2012 for the Mayans, and head into the next Age with heads held high and vaginas unfettered by shame.
If you’re like me, one of your first steps outside the traditional sex realm — either in practice or fantasy — is threesomes! Yay! Threesomes are so magical based on the fact that they’re simultaneously in a completely different league than one-on-one sex (all those extra body parts are a real game-changer), and they’re reasonably attainable for entirely mortal, non-porn stars like you and me. Well, maybe you’re a porn star. But I’m not. And I’ve had threesomes, each of which turned out shockingly well — they were exciting, enlightening, drunk, blurry, electrifying… everything you could want from your first (and maybe only) foray into group sex. And I somehow kept my emotions, self-respect, and friendships fully intact. I know. I’m a goddamn hero among women. Allow me to drop some wisdom on you.
Be the guest star. Part of the reason I’ve found my threesome experiences to be so fulfilling, both vaginally and spiritually, is that I didn’t have that much at stake emotionally. Yes, the others involved were my pals. Yes, if things had become weird between us afterward and we were no longer friends, I would’ve been really disappointed. But I would’ve been “drifting apart from non-lifelong friends” disappointed, not “breaking up with boyfriend” disappointed. I can only imagine, since I’ve been smart / lucky enough to only be the special guest, but I assume it’s way better to be the sexy stranger, with fresh genitals and no emotional baggage, who comes in, passes out orgasms, and promptly floats out in a cool breeze that smells like freedom and inconsequence. The other two get to sit and wallow for a while in the tense, unspoken “what does this mean”-ness of the post-coital moment. Even if they’re truly that kind of liberated couple for whom seeing each other’s wet places grinding on a hot a piece of strange doesn’t tangle up their heart strings, they still have to deal with going back to the monotony of being a twosome. Not you, baby. You’re out of there and onto the next adventure, like not having to compromise on where to eat lunch. Bottom line: when there’s no one around to accuse you of “liking it a little too much,” you are free to like it as much as you want.
Don’t plan it, even if you know it’s coming (heh, “coming”). Even if the pre-threesome, ‘”this is totally gonna happen” tension has been building between you and your favorite friends for many a drunken outing now, I swear to god I will personally come punch you in the tit if you dare say it out loud. Because it will be utterly, irrevocably ruined. Premeditation is what takes a group sex experience from “wild, loving, bohemian expression of youthful willingness to indulge in an utterly beautiful, free moment of a hot, midsummer’s spiritual connection between (probably drunk) friends” to “sadness-scented craigslist ad.”
Don’t have feelings. Except for those that lead to erections and platonic bonding. Get #realtalk with me for a minute: if you have the kind of vajay that likes to slip a promise (cock) ring around every piece it lays under, or if you’re already pining in the heart for one of the slices of bread you’re about to become jelly between, just say no. You know this already, but allow me to be the friend who states the obvious: this will end badly. Scenario A) You bone them, the object of your secret affection doesn’t realize they’re in love with you at the sight of your nipples, and you’re sad. Or scenario B) You bone them, he/she does realize your genitals hold the key to their true romantic happiness, they leave their current girlfriend in a heap of tears and condom wrappers, the two of you are happy for about five minutes until the guilt slowly prods one of you closer and closer to “listen, I can’t do this anymore” and then you are still sad. And probably down two friends.
Do joke about it afterward. If you’re friends with your copulatory cohorts, and you’re all savvy and self-aware enough to have survived The Deed with your relationships intact, then absolutely feel free to talk and joke about it afterward and henceforth forever. Maybe it’s something you let others in your circle know about, or maybe you keep it your fun secret. Either way, allowing embarrassment, guilt, or awkwardness to creep in on the issue as time goes on is a dynamite way to retroactively ruin the experience. You can’t control other people’s level of weirdness, but if you stay lighthearted about it, the whole experience can be made even sweeter and sexier — a threesome can either become that “thing that happened that you don’t ever mention that silently strains your friendships until you just stop calling each other,” or a fun, fond memory the three of you share.